Nurturing new breed of father takes time and support

Dad of two Sebastian Costello says further enhancing parental leave would bring a big shift. Photo: AAP
Fathers are doing more caring than ever before, but health, work and social systems around them are yet to catch up. This Fatherâs Day, we talk to two dads on a mission to change all that.
When Thomas Docking and his wife welcomed their first child, his new world of fatherhood came with a lot of uncertainties.
âI actually thought I was quite well supported and informed,â he said.
âMy mother was a midwife, I came from a great family.
âYet for me, when I got to actually being a parent, changing from dude to dad, it was like, Iâm not ready for this.â
Docking felt there wasnât enough support or spaces for fathers to come together and speak about the challenges they faced.
What the new dad created from this has become a national movement. Ten years ago, Docking started the Man with a Pram walk, which has since spread across Australia into a national Fatherâs Day movement.
âFathersâ involvement in parenting over generations has shifted,â he said.
âSo how do we celebrate that movement towards engaged fathering?And how do we do that in a strength-based way that doesnât actually create or cause judgment, but it invites everyone to walk together.â
Docking will visit Parliament House on Monday to discuss the challenges fathers are facing in 2026.
âThereâs a system problem and a culture problem,â he said.
âThe health system doesnât engage fathers, thereâs no record of â was the dad involved? Whatâs the dadâs details?
âAnd are we following up the dad to make sure heâs supporting his partner and being supported himself, and knows how to support the baby?
âThese are really simple fundamentals of becoming a parent.â
Man with a Pram is a catalyst to discuss needed changes to the health and social services system, he said.
âHaving a dialogue around âhey our system should be including fathersâ,â Docking said.
âIf dads are encouraged to be doing active fathering, mums are going to be way better off.â
Better perinatal care for fathers would improve gender equality, prevent domestic violence, suicide and other mental health challenges, he said.
âAll these things have some crossover or correlation in the perinatal space to fathers and father figures,â Docking said.
He also pointed to increasing research in recent years that becoming a father changes menâs brains, both hormonally and physiologically.
âThatâs exciting because it means for those of us who donât have it all together and havenât got the perfect fatherhood map in front of us before we start ⌠take a step towards doing this, and youâll start to learn,â he said.
Campaign director at The Parenthood and self-proclaimed âdadvocateâ Sebastian Costello said part of the challenge was to increase parental leave.
Since July 1, the federal governmentâs paid parental leave policy has increase from 24 to 26 weeks, paid at the national minimum wage. Four weeks of the leave scheme are reserved for fathers and partners.

Man with a Pram founder Thomas Docking says moving from âdude to dadâ was challenging. Photo: AAP
The Parenthood advocates for 52 weeks of paid parental leave, which Labor voted up as a policy position at its national conference in July.
But Costello said the rate should be paid at a replacement wage â tied to working salaries â not minimum wage.
âThe idea with 12 monthsâ paid parental leave at replacement wage rate is it actually gives families time to learn the habits of caregiving,â Costello said.
âIf youâve got only a little bit of paid parental leave, the mother takes most of it and dad has to go back to work, and that just doesnât really get us anywhere.
âMothers become the default carers, dads become the default workers.â
Workplace Gender Equality Agency data showed 68 per cent of employers offered paid parental leave schemes in 2024 to 2025.
On average, employers offer 14 weeks to primary and 3.7 weeks to secondary carers.
Costello said workplace parental leave policies, while they had improved substantially, still lagged for fathers.
âStigma is still absolutely there, [although] it is subtle and it is getting better,â he said.
âA workplace might have parental leave policy on paper but men can still receive the message that âserious employees return to work quicklyâ.
âFathers worry about being seen as less committed, missing opportunities or putting their career progression at risk, just because theyâre there as parents.â
The Parenthood will take the issue to Canberra to encourage leaders to commit to extending parental leave for everyone.
âChange will not come through policy alone, leaders need to encourage men to take leave, they need to take it themselves when they can to make it clear itâs a sharing, caring community,â Costello said.
âYouâve got two identities, you become a father as well as a worker, and they can definitely work alongside each other for better for an organisation.â
Both Costello and Docking are part of Gender Equity Victoriaâs #EverydayDad campaign, which encourages dads to share their stories about fatherhood and normalise being involved in their childrenâs lives.
âItâs not about being a performative dad or making sure you get to the big things,â said Costello, a father-of-two.
âItâs about how much joy you get out of those little things, thatâs where the magic is in caring.â
Cultural change happens wheed dads saw other dads doing it, Gender Equity Victoria chief executive Micaela Drieberg said.
âWhen fathers talk openly about caring for their kids, it gives other dads permission to do the same,â she said.
âEvery story helps make fatherhood more visible, more valued and, ultimately, helps build a more gender-equitable society.â
-AAP








