Kris McCabe hasn’t just spent the past nine years being a full-time carer for her beloved 88-year-old grandmother as she struggles with Alzheimer’s, she has also documented their life together with daily live TikTok posts.

Today, the American duo’s LifeWithGrams account has more than 734,000 followers and more than 25 million likes from fans who follow both their adventures and their challenges.

“I provide her with the same love and care she always provided me,” 39-year-old McCabe says in a recent video in which she responds to people who ask if grandma Mary still knows who she is.

“We always have love. We have a very strong bond.

“Me and my grandma have always been soulmates and best friends, and I’m grateful that even with this disease we’re able to continue this strong bond.”

Mary’s family initially moved her into a nursing home in 2016 when her dementia and Alzheimer’s disease progressed to the point where she needed constant care. But McCabe – who was then bartending in Chicago – found it hard to see her grandmother in the care facility, where she wasn’t doing well.

“It all seemed to happen so fast and I couldn’t stand seeing how afraid she was,” she explains on her Life With Grams website.

“I was 29, no kids to care for with an extra bedroom in my apartment – it seemed like a no brainer!”

@lifewithgrams Our first viral moment back on Halloween 2021. This wasn’t exactly what my dreams were made of but we avoided having to cut all my hair off! While I am grateful Grams can still do her own hair, I miss the days she was more involved doing the things she loved. Alzheimer’s really does suck. #Grandma #Caregiver #Dementia #Hair #Fail ♬ What Dreams Are Made Of – Hilary Duff

McCabe – who had shared a room with Mary as an infant and lived with her for a time as a teenager and after finishing university – decided to become her grandmother’s full-time carer. She moved her into her Chicago apartment on March 6, 2017.

Although McCabe’s family were supportive, the nursing home was less optimistic about how the living arrangements would work.

“I remember leaving that office and the director was like, ‘We’ll probably see you back here in a few months, but good luck’,” she recently told People magazine.

“That stuck with me. It lit a fire in me to be like, ‘Who are you to tell us what our life is gonna look like?’.”

There were some setbacks.

The pair have had to move several times over the years, including after McCabe’s first apartment was destroyed by fire, and her next landlord died during the Covid pandemic. But she seems almost relentlessly upbeat, with the bond between grandmother and granddaughter undiminished.

The TikTok videos shed light on their daily experiences, showing the pair on movie dates, dressing up together, dining out, celebrating birthdays and taking road trips – as well as occasional trips to hospital and other challenges that are the reality of life with Alzheimer’s.

McCabe describes her grandmother as “sassy” and a “spitfire” – “tough, independent, outspoken, fierce, but with a heart of gold”.

One TikTok video originally published in 2017 during Donald Trump’s first term as US President and reshared last year shows she wasn’t afraid to share her views.

“I don’t think he’s fit to be president,” Mary states in the clip. “He’s fit to play – that’s where his head is at. He like to gamble, he likes to play, he likes women …”

@lifewithgrams These videos are from 2017. God Bless America, for real 😅🇺🇸 Not here to argue, if you can’t comment with intellect, facts or solutions don’t comment. Thanks! #Grandma #Caregiver #Politics #HelpUs #Smart ♬ original sound – LifeWithGrams

In those early days when the pair were living together, McCabe says Mary was categorised as being at stage four in the seven recognised stages of dementia, which is considered moderate. Today, she is at the end of stage six (moderately severe dementia) and has become largely non-verbal.

“My No.1 piece of advice for people who are taking care of a loved one with dementia is a routine – keeping things routine, keeping things structured, keeping things scheduled,” McCabe advises.

She regularly shares tips for caregivers on the LifeWithGrams TikTok account, and says the forum has helped her build important connections with other people whose lives have been affected by dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

“At first, I just wanted to share our adventures and show my friends and family who always loved Grams what we were up to, but it unexpectedly turned into so much more,” she told the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America’s journal several years ago.

“I soon realised how many others were out there like me, clueless on what to do to provide the best possible care for their loved ones with dementia.”

As with many online experiences, it hasn’t all been positive. In one older post, McCabe – who likes to think she got “my heart and a bit of my sass from Grams” – admitted she had been forced to block between five and 20 accounts a day.

She said she had even contacted police because of what she described as harassment and abuse.

Some critics question the ethics of documenting someone’s struggle with dementia, but McCabe told People her grandmother “never felt shame in who she was” and wouldn’t want to be forgotten.

“I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to capture so many one-of-a-kind, priceless interactions because I’ve chosen to take that step of sharing. I’m proud of us. I know my grandma’s heart.”