Polish tennis star Iga Swiatek has offered a revealing look at her emotional state after a doping suspension, coming to terms with not returning to No. 1 and three weeks of “crying daily”.

In a lengthy social media post on Monday, Swiatek also discussed online criticism after an ugly on-court incident in which she nearly hit a ball boy after smashing a ball in anger between points.

“I see there’s been a lot of recent talk about changes in my on-court behaviour and emotions,” Swiatek, a five-time Grand Slam champion, posted on Instagram a day before the start of the Miami Open.

“Although I’m not comfortable explaining myself, it’s time I share my perspective to stop the speculation and baseless theories.”

Swiatek also wrote about last week’s incident at the tournament in Indian Wells, during her semifinal loss to eventual champion Mirra Andreeva.

Swiatek – who had earlier had complained to the chair umpire about apparent movement from the ball kids – was thrown a ball by one of the kids, only to smash it back in his direction. It missed him and bounced into the crowd, which reacted with loud boos.

“It’s true — I expressed frustration in a way I’m not proud of. My intention was never to aim the ball at anyone but merely to release my frustration by bouncing it on the ground,” she wrote.

“I immediately apologised to the ball boy, we made eye contact, and nodded to each other when I expressed regret that it happened near him.”

Swiatek lamented the “constant judgment” that accompanies her career. She said standards had shifted as her outward displays of her feelings had.

“When I’m highly focused and don’t show many emotions on court, I’m called a robot, my attitude labelled as inhuman,” she said.

“Now that I’m more expressive, showing feelings or struggling internally, I’m suddenly labelled immature or hysterical.

“That’s not a healthy standard — especially considering that just six months ago, I felt my career was hanging by a thread, spent three weeks crying daily, and didn’t want to step on the court.”

Swiatek spent most of the 2022, 2023 and 2024 seasons atop the WTA rankings before Aryna Sabalenka replaced her in October.

She also dealt with a doping case last year after failing an out-of-competition drug test in August for the banned substance trimetazidine, a heart medication known as TMZ.

The International Tennis Integrity Agency accepted her explanation that the result was unintentional and caused by contamination of non-prescription medication melatonin that she also took for issues with jet lag and sleeping.

“The second half of last year was extremely challenging for me, especially due to the positive doping test and how circumstances completely beyond my control took away my chance to fight for the highest sport goals at the end of the season,” Swiatek wrote Monday.

“I know I’ll never please everyone. I walk my own path.”

-with AAP