You know we are living in interesting sporting times when an exhibition match at the normally genteel home of cricket turns unsavoury.

The weekend’s sporting happenings, straddling multiple continents and time zones, were so extraordinary that we thought it was worthwhile providing this brief, and by no means exhaustive, summary.

1. The women’s walkover

A cursory look at the 6-3, 6-0 scoreline might indicate that Grand Slam final debutant Eugenie Bouchard had ‘done a Novotna’ and handed the plate on a platter to Petra Kvitova.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Bouchard, the first Canadian to make a Grand Slam final, was in fact treated rather rudely, like an outsider invited to a party but not introduced around.

She certainly did not choke.

In fact, Bouchard made a total of only four (yes, four!) unforced errors for the match. In a sporting world awash with meaningless statistics, that is mind blowing when juxtaposed with the scoreline.

Bouchard was simply blown away by the long-limbed Kvitova, whose left-handed winners from awkward angles were reminiscent of Goran Ivanisevic at his unplayable best.

For the record, Kvitova had 12 unforced errors, but smashed 28 high octane winners to Bouchard’s eight. Check out some of them in the video below.

Watched on by countrywoman and nine-time Wimbledon champion Martina Navratilova, an unabashed fan, Kvitova’s was the performance of the weekend.

2. The men’s epic

The men’s final was a massive contrast: a three hour, 56 minute classic, in which Novak Djokovic defeated Roger Federer in five extraordinary sets. For The New Daily’s full report, click here.

3. Super sub

In the greatest substitution since Ron Barassi unleashed Ted Hopkins in the 1970 Grand Final , Dutch coach Louis van Gaal gambled big in the final seconds of his side’s sudden death World Cup quarter final against sentimental favourites Costa Rica.

He replaced his first choice goalkeeper, Jasper Cillessen, who had not conceded a goal over 120 minutes, with Newcastle ‘keeper Tim Krul, in time for the penalty shootout.

Krul proceeded to save two penalty attempts, giving the Netherlands a 4-3 win on penalties and keeping alive their hopes of finally breaking through for football’s ultimate prize.

With delightful understatement, van Gaal observed: “Fortunately it worked out because if it hadn’t worked out I would have taken the wrong decision.” Quite.

Their opponent will be Argentina, whose 1-0 win over Belgium mean they have won all five of their matches in the tournament so far. The pair played off for the 1978 title.

In neat symmetry, the other semi-final will also be a South American-European affair, with Brazil playing Germany. The hosts, however, will be without star player Neymar, who had scored four goals in the tournament but received a fractured vertebra in the quarter final.

Tim Krul of the Netherlands saves a penalty kick by Michael Umana of Costa Rica. Photo: Getty

4. Sharks piss it in

Coachless, after caretaker Paul Sharp jumped ship during the week.

Skipper-less, with Paul Gallen at Origin camp (not to mention fellow star Luke Lewis).

Todd ‘Bubbler’ Carney-less (for obvious reasons).

Scandal ridden (see Carney, Stephen Dank, Shane Flanagan et al).

Playing the reigning premiers on their own patch.

$15 outsiders.

Trailing 24-0.

Yet they did it.

Nominally, the club’s under 20s coach James Shepherd was in charge, but this was a triumph for player power.

It was the players who in effect cancelled training on Monday after a heated meeting over the way Carney was sacked, and it was the players, under stand-in skipper Wade Graham, who orchestrated the club’s greatest ever comeback.

In the end, they won 30-28 in a nail-biting finish, with a controversial ruling from referee Gavin Morris, backed by the video refs, disallowing Rooster Mitch Aubusson a try with 11 seconds remaining.

It was the second miracle in nine days for the Sharks, who came back from 22-0 to defeat the Brisbane Broncos the previous Friday.

The Sharks after their Lazarus Rising performance against the Roosters. Photo: Getty

5. With friends like these …

The Brett Lee beamer debate would appear to have been settled.

The Australian fast bowler repeatedly found himself in hot water during his career for bowling high full tosses (“beamers”), which are outside both the law and the spirit of the game. At one stage, Peter Roebuck said he should be sent home from a tour of New Zealand for “beaming” Brendon McCullum.

The question: were these dangerous missiles deliberate?

Presumably not, given that Lee’s former Australian teammate Shane Warne was on the receiving end of one of them while batting for his Rest of the World XI against Sachin Tendulkar’s MCC XI in the match to commemorate the 200th anniversary of Lord’s.

The blow broke Warne’s hand, depriving the capacity crowd of the tantalising prospect of Warne bowling to Tendulkar, which, after all, was essentially the point of the whole exercise.

Meanwhile, the controversy continued in the commentary box, where one former England captain, Andrew Strauss, called another former England captain, Kevin Pietersen, “an absolute c—“, the sort of language not normally associated with the genteel venue.

The Pyne-ism was made during an break in the coverage in England, but went to air in Australia, promoting an immediate apology from a “mortified” Strauss. The pair have history, with KP having previously sledged Strauss via text to members of the South African team when they shared an England dressing room.

And this was cricket’s version of a ‘friendly’ …

6. The strife of Brian

In his short career at Hawthorn, Brian Lake has put on display the polar opposites that alternatively delighted and infuriated Rodney Eade at Footscray.

He rewarded the Hawks in spades with his Norm Smith Medal-winning effort on Grand Final day.

On Friday night, however, he let the injury-plagued Hawks down badly with a brain fade that was extreme, even by his standards.

His attempt to squeeze the life out of Kangaroo Drew Petrie was dangerous and stupid and a dreadful look for the game. Don’t try this at home, kiddies.

It was also another reminder of why the AFL should have a send-off rule.

7. Tour de Carnage

The first stage of the Tour de France was notable for several reasons, not only the fact it was held in the little known French province of Y’Orkshire.

There was mayhem in the wild rush for the line, with the great Mark Cavendish trying to bullock his way past Australian hope Simon Gerrans. The call of the crash, at about one minute into the video below, is highly entertaining.

Cavendish and Gerrans hit the deck heavily, as Germany’s Marcel Kittel powered to the finish to take the opening stage.

Cavendish, who has won 25 Tour stages, putting him third on the all-time list, was taken off in an ambulance. It was later confirmed that the shoulder was dislocated and that the race would be without one of its greatest drawcards.

In a further surprise, Cavendish picked up the telephone and apologised to Gerrans, saying the crash was his fault. With an attitude like that, he won’t get a gig in Formula One.

8. Speaking of busted shoulders …

Betting on the Brownlow Medal, or at least, punting on red-hot favourite Gary Ablett, was suspended after the Gold Coast champ was tackled heavily by Pies tagger Brent Macaffer.

The sound as he hit the deck was of a shoulder dislocating and bookies hurriedly scratching out new Brownlow odds, pending a medical report. No player has won ‘Charlie’ after missing more than four matches, although there is speculation that Little Gaz has been so dominant this season hat he could add that record to his impressive list of achievements.

One television station compared the significance of Ablett’s injury to man walking on the moon, when of course it is much more serious than that.