Advertisement

What your accessories say about you

Even phone cases make a statement. Photo: Getty

Even phone cases make a statement. Photo: Getty

As a fashion writer, I have spent decades writing upbeat pieces of copy about every trend that has come and gone and the life-changing potential of a well-placed accessory.

At Vogue, I wrote so much froth about accessories that one of my intros became a long-running joke. For years, whenever anyone in the office was having a life crisis, the response became “Don’t worry, just turn day into night with a change of accessories”. Another one was “Bows, bows and more bows,” but there hasn’t been much of a reason to say that since the eighties.

• Why you shouldn’t splurge on a wedding dress
Trump as president? So long, good taste
The new unattainable body type for women

Truth be told, the right accessory does change everything. If I’ve learnt anything it’s that you can pretty much exist very happily and fashionably with a small core wardrobe of basics (such as jeans, black pants, a white t-shirt, a classic blazer).

The real interest, and how you make that look your own, is in what you add to it.

Bags on bags on bags. Photo: Getty

Bags on bags on bags. Photo: Getty

If you are going to invest big dollars in anything you wear, then accessories are your best and most enduring option. You will probably still be wearing those Tiffany earrings you saved up for when you’re seventy. The gold beaded tube dress, maybe not so much.

It used to be said you could tell a man by his watch. In the eighties, you were winning if you were the gold or platinum Rolex guy (show-offy, Trump type) the Tag Heuer guy (sporty and sexy with some money, but not splashy) or a family heirloom guy (intelligent, steady, secure).

You didn’t see many CEOs wearing a Swatch. They were a very tell-tale kind of personal branding.

Even phone cases make a statement. Photo: Getty

Even phone cases make a statement. Photo: Getty

Of course, in the device age no one needs a watch at all, so what does the wearing of one say now? An expensive watch is still an indication of wealth and social status, but we now have, of course, the Apple Watch.

They give me the creeps. Like an episode of The Outer Limits, I feel like you’ve made a deal with the devil when you clip one on.

When I see a man (or woman) in a smart watch I just know I’m going to hear about their resting heart rate and gluten intake, but it is also reassuring to know the police will be able to find them in a nanosecond if they commit a major crime.

Apple Watches and their ilk are the trend of the moment. Photo: Getty

Apple Watches and their ilk are the trend of the moment. Photo: Getty

Choosing the right accessory, in terms of handbags, scarves, belts and jewellery is challenging enough, but now we have new accessories to deal with.

Like phone covers. These confuse me. I often walk into those stores and think “Who am I, what do I want my phone to say about me as I press it to my ear?” Do I want something in discreet rose gold? Organic bamboo? An oversized rubber pineapple? A diamante cat? Do I need a phone accessory, one that dangles? Will the dangly bit require it’s own dangly bit?

Handbag ornaments are also a thing now. You can buy designer fur pom pom pieces of nonsense to clip to your designer bag, doubling the cost of the bag and ensuring the senseless killing of yet another animal.

A designer laptop case with a furry accessory. Photo: Getty

A designer laptop case with a furry accessory. Photo: Getty

And what about your laptop case? What does that say about you? If you head for Prada it means you spent more on the case than the computer.

I decided on a very lovely one from The Daily Edit and then spent stressful three hours trying to decide which colour I should choose, then what colour for the interior, whether monogramming was tacky, would the letters be in upper or lower case, would the monogram be silver, gold or rose gold and, finally, what metal for the zip?

Here’s hoping laptop case accessories aren’t coming any time soon.

For more from Kirstie Clements, click here.

SEVEN ELEVEN STOCK

Advertisement
Stay informed, daily
A FREE subscription to The New Daily arrives every morning and evening.
The New Daily is a trusted source of national news and information and is provided free for all Australians. Read our editorial charter.
Copyright © 2024 The New Daily.
All rights reserved.