It was a weird week for style in Hollywood.

• Ditch the gym, razor: women want tall and bearded
• French fancy: 68 years of glamour in Cannes
• Why some men are boycotting Mad Max: Fury Road

When it all gets to be too much, take comfort in the fact that many of these people pay someone to make them look like this.

Stylists, hang your heads in shame.

But first…

The best beard in Hollywood

Sure, Jake Gyllenhaal can act.

He’s effortlessly transformed from emaciated paparazzo in Nightcrawler to beefed-up boxer in Southpaw and won accolades for his performances in Brokeback Mountain and more.

But we’re all missing the real winner here: his facial hair.

The man has a beard for every occasion. Okay, it’s the same beard every time, but he does manage to keep it manicured, lustrous and at the perfect length.

There’s his black tie beard:

But there’s also his smart casual beard:

Perhaps his best look is the French Riviera beard, seen recently at the Cannes Film Festival:

Keep doing what you’re doing, Jake. Lazy men everywhere salute you.

Lupita Nyong’o’s twirling addiction

Lupita Nyong’o made a welcome return to the red carpet this week after a brief but harrowing hiatus.

We’ve missed her risk-taking gowns and gorgeous smile, but there’s one thing we haven’t missed – her cold, hard twirling addiction.

Here she is at the Cannes Film festival on Wednesday, spinning like it’s no one’s business:

And here she is at, well, every other event she’s ever attended doing the same thing:

Seriously, the woman has a problem.

Someone help her.

This is an epidemic of Angelina Jolie leg-popping proportions. Shut it down.

Miley Cyrus loves … nipple tassels?

Miley Cyrus is not a style icon. We repeat – do not use the 22-year-old singer for sartorial inspiration.

But in her own whacky way, she’s campaigning to bring one particular look to the red carpet, and it’s not for the fainthearted.

Cyrus is attempting to popularise the very risqué, very niche nipple tassel.

Here she is at one of her recent concerts rocking the look:

And here she is on Instagram giving her followers a close-up shot:

If you must attempt to emulate this, do it in the comfort of your own home. With the blinds closed. And the lights off. And no one else around.

Trend report: the faux-hawk

Have you always wanted to be a punk but never had the guts/hairspray? Megan Gale has a solution for you.

Appearing at the Sydney premiere of her new flick Mad Max: Fury Road (in which she first appears completely naked) the model rocked an unusual hairstyle.

In a sleek black pantsuit, Gale was all business down underneath a party up top, spouting raven locks from her head like a cockatoo.

It’s Australiana at it’s absolute finest and if you’re true blue you should get involved.