Six things we hope for at the 2015 Golden Globes

Giles Hardie
Jan 11, 2015, updated Jan 11, 2015

The 72nd Golden Globes Awards will kick off at midday (AEDT) on Monday – otherwise known as 8pm Crazy Hollywood Time.

In many regards, we know what to expect. On the plus side there’s the near guaranteed hilarity of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosting for a third time.

On the down side there will be acceptance speeches. So many acceptance speeches. At least one for each of the 25 competitive categories, plus a few honourees scattered throughout.

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The majority of the ceremony is as predictable as a nomination for Meryl Streep (Into The Woods marks her 29th Globes nomination for eight wins).

We already know that Kelsey Grammer’s daughter Greer Grammer is the 2015 Miss Golden Globe (an un-PC title for what is essentially a glorified usher to help winners leave the stage).

We know George Clooney will be presented with the Cecil B De Mille lifetime achievement award. Hell, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association who run the night have even given a preview of the In Memorium segment.

Yet some things are left to chance. Some remain a secret. Others will go off the rails as celebrities come together and the perfect formula for chaos is executed: Actors + Live Global Audience = Random Acts of Crazy.

These are the bits (arguably the only bits) we really care about.

So what are we hoping for from the Globes?

Wins for Selma and Into The Woods

If you love a good conspiracy theory/screw-up story then join us in hoping for this double.

On Friday the Golden Globes’ official website briefly listed Selma as the winner for Best Film (Drama) and Into The Woods as Best Film (Comedy or Musical), according to industry website Defamer.

The quick explanation of an error during testing rings true, but watch the accusations and daggers fly if these films – neither of which is favourite in its category – achieve the unlikely quinella.

An Australian victory

Yes, its parochial and smacks of a need for foreign endorsement, but it’s always good to get a gong for the green and gold. Besides it’s all looking a bit British in 2014 and we can’t let them have all the love. Even our only presenter – Naomi Watts – was actually born in England!

There are essentially three Australian contenders. Frances O’Connor is a strong chance in a very competitive category – Best Actress in a Mini-Series or Telemovie – for her performance in The Missing.

Musician Sia is nominated for her song Opportunity from Annie.

The most likely gong, though, is for The Lego Movie, which unfortunately isn’t officially an Australian film despite the fact it was made almost entirely by Sydney’s Animal Logic. So it doesn’t qualify for an AACTA Award, but watch us claim it if it takes the Best Animated Feature award for which it is favourite.

Tina and Amy go out with a bang – or a Bingo!

The dynamic comic duo have claimed that this will be their last time herding the cats at the Globes, so they’re likely to feel even less restraint in terms of their comedic targets.

It’s enough to inspire a game of Brutal Butt-of-the-Joke Bingo. We recommend those playing at home make up a 3×3 card featuring any combination of the following:

North Korea (for attacking The Interview) – Sony (for pulling The Interview) – Bill Cosby – George Clooney – Mrs Amal Clooney – Matt Damon – Ricky Gervais – The Hollywood Foreign Press Association – Transformers: Age of Extinction – Miley Cyrus – Johnny Depp – Transcendence – Any Bible film (Noah and Exodus: Gods and Kings) – Seth Macfarlane – Celebrity Nudie Photo Scandals – Islamic State.

A tie!

Not a bow tie, or a black tie, but a tied category. It’s happened a few times before. In fact in 1989 there was a three-way tie for Best Actress between Shirley Maclaine (Madame Sousatzka), Jodie Foster (The Accused) and Sigourney Weaver (Gorillas in the Mist).

It’s what happens when you only have “about 90 members” according to your official site. Compared to the thousands who vote in the Academy Awards for which the Globes are so proud to be an indicator, it’s hardly a huge pool.

Then there’s the massive 55 countries that the voters represent.

For an association of “foreign journalists” with a ceremony broadcast to 167 countries, that’s not exactly award-worthy representation.

Something – anything – interesting to happen on the red carpet

We’re told more than 30,000 feet of red carpet is rolled out for the Golden Globes, which normally equates to a ratio of approximately 9.1 kilometres to zero actions of genuine note. Foxtel’s channel E! will deliver us two hours of red carpet ‘action’, which is a whole lot of Ryan Seacrest to inflict on a country that isn’t responsible for creating him.

So we’re hoping for something to happen. Admittedly we’re thinking more along the lines of Jennifer Lawrence crashing Taylor Swift’s interview on last year’s Globes carpet than that horrible groping of Scarlett Johansson by designer Isaac Mizrahi in 2006.

It’s not much, but it’s probably the most we can hope for from a carpet that will be largely dominated by the grammatically grating sentence “who are you wearing?” There’s hope. Benedict Cumberbatch is a nominee and has form, having photo-bombed U2 at last year’s Oscars.

No more bathroom breaks

Now to something we don’t want to see. It’s traditional at some point in Globes previews to recall those wonderful moments when a winner misses their name being read out of the envelope because they heard the call of nature first. The problem is it leaves an empty stage.

Sadly Robin Williams is no longer available to fill the dead air as he did when Christine Lahti went missing in 1998.

The alternative is something as awkward as Hugh Grant who wasn’t going to get any invitations to join an improvisation troupe after he was left holding Renee Zellweger’s award in 2001.

As such, it’s simple. No Robin Williams. No bathroom breaks. Cross your legs people.

So who will win?

Oh yes, that’s right, there will be awards as well. Here’s our prediction. And of course we’d like to see them all come true … because #BraggingRights

Best Picture (Drama) – Boyhood

Best Picture (Musical or Comedy) – Birdman

Best Picture (Animated) – The Lego Movie

Best Picture (Foreign Language) – Ida

Best Director – Richard Linklater

Best Actor (Drama) – Benedict Cumberbatch

Best Actress (Drama) – Julianne Moore

Best Actor (Musical or Comedy) – Michael Keaton

Best Actress (Musical or Comedy) – Amy Adams

Best Supporting Actor – JK Simmons

Best Supporting Actress – Patricia Arquette

Best Series (Drama) – The Good Wife