COMMENT

We all know they’re out there. In fact, I saw at least three of them just today, and one of them nearly took me out.

Yet proof of our acceptance of their existence still comes as a shock.

I’m talking about that special group of dim-witted drivers who are so dumb they’re dangerous. The ones who are either frightening you, or rear ending you at the lights.

• Top gear: rare classic cars found in old shed
• Young drivers taking selfies behind the wheel

What’s even scarier is they know who they are, too. I’d often wondered whether bad drivers knew they were dangerous and just didn’t care, or if they were too stupid to notice, but it turns out there are so many of them that car insurance companies, who obviously consider them great customers, are advertising to them.

You may have heard the radio spots telling us all to download an insurance app that’s right there, ready to go when we inevitably have a car crash.

My first thought on hearing this was that these companies had gone mad, because who would download such a thing?

Could anyone actually be so organised in all their worldly ways (grave plot already booked, coffin chosen, suitable musical tribute on Facebook preloaded) as to need to feel this prepared for a road accident?

But then it hit me. There are actually drivers out there (and it’s not like you can’t spot them) for whom having bingles is so common that they actually nod when they hear this ad and think: “Hey, that would have been so helpful last time, you can just upload the crash-site snaps from your phone and apply for your payment before they’ve even towed your wreck away, I need that app!”

Of course, I’m talking predominantly about that special kind of idiot who plays with their phone while driving.

Only those just a stolen brain cell away from being criminally insane would send text messages while trying to drive a car (just shut your eyes, randomly, for two or three seconds now and then to check out what lunacy it is) and yet plenty of people do.

It sometimes feels like only a matter of time before one of them rams me from behind, or I ram them after watching them ignore the green light for the umpteenth time with their eyes focused blankly on their laps.

Our motorcycling cousins get particularly furious at this practice, and not just because they’re jealous they can’t text and ride. One rider I know attempts to scare the habit out of them, one idiot at a time.

Then there are those drivers who decide to take a “selfie” while behind the wheel, proving not only their overwhelming narcissism but their complete lack of common sense too.

What I’d like to know is, if both the authorities and the insurance companies know who these frequent fender benders are, why can’t we punish them properly?

Sure, they pay higher premiums, but what about having a ‘three strikes and you’re out, for a 12-month rest and some re-education’ when it comes to car crashes?

Once is an accident (although defensive driving instructors will tell you there are no accidents, only mistakes) but more than that is a habit that needs breaking.

Or we could just drag them out of their cars and break their fingers. I’m fine with that too.

The ugly truth

• A 2014 Queensland Transport Department survey of 3000 people found more than three-quarters used their mobiles illegally in the car.

• The general use of a mobile phone while driving increases the risk of being involved in a crash by up to four times.

• Texting increases the risk of a crash or a near-crash by up to 15 times.

• Taking your eyes off the road for just two seconds when driving at 50 km/h, means you travel for 27 metres effectively blind.

Crash Test-Dummie is a regular contributor to motoring.com.au, where this article originally appeared.