As a human being, you fall into one of two categories: You either care what people think of you, or you do not.

Regardless, your choice of footwear may be sending the wrong message.

• Steal style tips from these five fashionable men

Maybe you bought a pair of shoes because they were cheap, comfortable, entertaining or reminded you of your dad, but be aware that they could be ruining your entire outfit. Whether you care or not.

Loafers

Well done, sir. You’re on the right track. A simple suede loafer in a neutral colour is a comfortable and classic choice for the modern man. Add a tassel if you feel like jazzing it up, or purchase a pair in a bright colour to make a statement. Penny loafers are also encouraged, however a black leather option for the office is risky; ensure you choose a rounded toe to avoid having your feet resemble boats.

Sneakers

You’re laid-back but secretly image-conscious. While we can all agree that comfort is key, just make a pledge to avoid the excessively grungy or scuffed-up Converse that are reminiscent of teenage skater boys.

Hiking boots

Once the domain of builders and tradies, this sturdy style has undergone a fashion revamp and now can be spotted on the feet of style bloggers and runway models. If you choose to rock a classic pair of Timberland work boots, be prepared for people to approach you inquiring about your plumbing business. However, when paired with some slim-fit denim, a plaid shirt or a North Face vest, they can inject that ounce of ruggedness you’ve always craved.

Sandals

Unless you are a long-haired European backpacker who resembles Owen Wilson’s character in Zoolander, sandals aren’t really an option for you. As men generally don’t get pedicures, a gladiator sandal can merely draw attention to your Hobbit-esque toes. In the heat of summer the temptation may seize you, but fight it off with a pair of boat shoes or thongs.

Runners

The pairing of these with anything other than exercise gear is a clear indicator that you have given up on life. And that’s ok! Just be aware of the message you’re sending. Nike have made a valiant attempt at reversing the “sneans” or “junners” taboo, but if you don’t have the time or energy to do your research, it’s worth just vetoing the trend entirely to avoid a fashion mishap.

Thongs

The chosen footwear of surfers and Queenslanders alike, the humble thong (or “flip flop” in American terms) is the closest you’ll get to being barefoot in public. While it’s not the most attractive shoe, it’s a saviour for beachgoers in the heat of summer. Wearing thongs with formal wear, however, sends a similar message to wearing runners with jeans (see above).

Lace-ups

Brogues are the ultimate workplace shoe. Sleek, simple proportions ensure that they are businesslike, but intricate detailing can hint at a subtle sense of style. Invest in a good pair, as quality is clear and an expensive brand will be more likely to provide a classic shape. When wearing with a suit, black is the most appropriate colour to go with.

Boat shoes

The prepster’s mainstay, boat shoes (spearheaded by Sperry’s “top-sider” style) have been embraced by teenage boys in recent years for their laid-back style. Read: you don’t have to wear socks with them. A fantastic summer shoe, they can be worn seriously by yachting fanatics, or ironically by hipsters. Whatever the reason, these are a good choice with shorts or chinos.

Boots

If you wear black boots, people are going to assume you ride a motorbike and/or are the lead singer of a rock band. If you are neither, figure out a legitimate excuse for wearing such statement-making footwear quickly because you’re going to need it.

High-tops

These say: I’m a high-flying NBA player. If you are not a world-class basketballer, they say: I am a wannabe. The more elaborate the high-top (winged, blinged or covered in lingo) the closer to God, a.k.a. Kanye West (in his opinion). Probably best avoided unless you have enough fashion knowledge to choose the right brand in order to avoid resembling Justin Bieber.

Desert boots

You’re practical, yet image-conscious. Comfortable but trendy. Simple but seasonally-aware. You have also most likely been dressed by your mother, sister, girlfriend or wife.

Suede desert boots are a winter staple; they’re masculine and reliable, but also perpetually of-the-moment. In this sense, they are the perfect shoe to convince the “I don’t care about fashion” guy that it is possible to look polished without trying too hard.

Final word of warning

White shoes – don’t go there. It’s not worth it.